


It's not what they call you, but what you answer to.

by Mackalmorr



Category: Naruto
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Like, Uchiha Itachi-centric, Uchiha Massacre, come hurt with me, idk do people even look at tags, um i just got a shit load of feelings for my boy itachi out of nowhere and decided to write this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-06
Updated: 2018-06-09
Packaged: 2019-05-18 20:09:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 1,849
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14859452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mackalmorr/pseuds/Mackalmorr
Summary: This is the story of Uchiha Itachi, his many names over the years, and how he earned them.





	1. Murderer

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Uchiha Itachi + titles](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/387656) by tsukkih-s. 



Everything is red. The moon, his hands, his blade, his eyes. It is and always will be his least favorite color, too vibrant and violent for him to enjoy. Everything is red.

 

His hands are trembling. There are tears staining his cheeks. He feels like he's being torn apart from the inside out like there's a god damn hurricane in his chest. He's angry and conflicted and hurt and scared and so so lost. The world is a blur and sharp around the edges all at once because his parents are on their knees before him, like lambs waiting for slaughter.

How had it come to this?

He expected to find betrayal and fury in his father's voice. Expected to hear the harsh tones of disapproval, can hear it in the back of his mind faded from a memory of when he'd shown up crying after his first mission that involved his own hands spilling blood. But when finally his father's voice breaks the silence it is gentle, and oh so familiar, soft and proud. It is the same voice that praised him as he grew as a shinobi. That sung with Uchiha pride and, if you knew what to listen for, love. Even now, as his blade gleams in the moonlight against the throat that houses it, it is steady, unwavering, like the man it belongs to. It cracks something in his chest to hear it, the same as it has always been, in a night that's so fucking foreign every nerve in Itachi's body is screaming _wrong wrong **wrong**_.

"Our philosophies may differ, but I am proud of you."

The crack deepens, splinters and spreads. Itachi can't breathe.

"You truly are a kind child."

Itachi snaps.

Air crashes through his lungs in the force of a sob and he swings his blade and the world is red.

And then in all his brokenness, he pulls together a plan, twisted and sick, but all he can come up with. He shares that moment with Sasuke. Spills the memory of it into his brother's mind on repeat like he had spilled his gentle mother's blood across the floor.

Sometimes to protect the one's you love you've got to cause some damage.


	2. Traitor

Everything is grey. His pain, his guilt, the shadows he calls home. He never thought he would miss the color red, but at least then he had felt something other than this dull ache. Everything is grey.

 

The village is just as he remembers it. Carefree and blissful in its ignorance. 

"You have lingering affections for your old home?" 

"No, not at all."

He's glad to be leaving the village. Seeing it again has done nothing but dredge up old memories he'd smothered and left for dead years ago. His chest no longer aches but is hollow like the abandoned Uchiha compound he can sense in the distance.

But of course, there is no leaving this village without paying a toll. So when a ghost of his past shows up and speaks careless and reckless, cool and calculated, he doesn't flinch. Can't say he's even the least bit surprised. 

"What business does a rogue ninja like you have in this village now?"

Itachi knows the double meaning, can read it in the old betrayal he finds in the man's mismatched eyes as they bravely, stupidly, meet his own.  

_Haven't you done enough, traitor?_

And at one point those words would have hurt. The disapproval from this man he once called captain would have stung. But he had been forced into the life of a traitor and he had accepted that fact years ago, grown into the role. So he brushes the comment aside, like sweat off his brow, and allows the leaf shinobi to have their fun.

But then there, off in the distance, there's a whisper of chakra in the compound, like a ghost. Cold and closed off. The numb hollow he'd built in his chest cracks because his brother is left to haunt those homes alone in a village that had sworn to protect him.

Itachi should have known better than to expect the village to give any kind of a fuck about mental stability.

But the crack in his chest is like a crack in a dam built against a god damn ocean. As soon as he plugs one emotion another comes pouring out and unfortunately for Kakashi he's within range.

Itachi takes one look. Sees that blood red eye in a body not its own. Then suddenly its Shisui standing on the edge, one eye crinkled in an apologetic smile, then its Danzo glaring from beneath his bandages giving him orders that break him, cause a tremor in his very being and he is so _angry, furious, raging hellfire_ just beneath the surface because _he is no traitor_.

The village is.

And he's paid such a high price for a sin not entirely his own by himself for so long. So,

"There's a reason the Uchiha clan was deemed the strongest and feared."

And then he shares the pain with this silver-haired fool who serves his village blindly. Over and over and over. Steel meets flesh, sinks beneath it. Time is unending, stretched too thin like Itachi's sanity over the past few years. He shares this load, this fucking ball of bitter pain and betrayal and regret that had been dragged from its grave in his ribcage in the only way he can. Forges it into a blade with the own flames of his anger and pierces the man again and again. 

Itachi doesn't know why he'd thought it'd help. Uchiha always were a bit helpless when it came to emotions. Always too much, not enough, and never a clue with how to deal with them. 

Once they're on the road again its just another sin to add to his list, another burning ache to bury in his chest and try to smother once more.


	3. Brother

Everything is blue. His regret, his sorrow, his heart, the rain as it falls and washes away his blood for the last time. It had always been his favorite, calming and soothing. Everything is blue.

 

A strange sense of calm washes over him as he stands. The lightning had been a closer call than he had liked, but it proved that at least some part of this fucked up plan has worked. Sasuke is strong, and Itachi is proud. He can feel his body failing him, but he pushes on as always and calls upon his Susanno. It's fitting, he thinks, to go out with its flames. He may have done what he did for what he believed to be good but it doesn't excuse it.

The Uchiha have always been of fire.

The least he can do after the massacre is burn for them. 

He rids his brother of the snake and laughs inwardly because its the first good thing he's done in years. Of course, he'll die moments afterward.

He smiles as he looks at his brother for the last time. He can see the fear in Sasuke's eyes, hates that he put it there, but he'd missed him. And being this close after so long of isolation and shadows is like a breath of cool fresh air after an eternity of holding his breath miles under the deep dark sea. There's so much he wanted to say, so much he's kept locked away in his chest for so long he thinks that maybe that's what caused his lungs to rot.

But he's only got so much strength left. So he says,

"Sorry, Sasuke... but this is it," and lets his fingers brush skin.

They always had been taught that actions speak louder than words.

Then he finds himself drifting, consciousness flitting away, and the last thing he can see is the sky, big and endless and blue as ever. He can hear the chirp of birds and Sasuke still so small calling out to him. The ever-present ache and pressure in his chest finally eases as the memories play on behind glassy eyes. 


	4. Son

Everything is white. His anger, his love, his parents' hands as they reach for him. It is all consuming and blinding, too much and not enough all at once. Everything is white.

 

When he opens his eyes his parents stand before him.

He wants to run to them, embrace them, beg for forgiveness.

And maybe in the past, he would have. But Itachi is no longer the child he was when this whole mess started. He has had years to reflect on that night and everything leading up to it, and he has come to the conclusion that it was not his fault.

He still bears the sin of killing his parents, manipulating Sasuke, and spilling blood _too much blood_ over the years, but he was 13 when it all took a turn for the worst. Too young and unprepared, dragged into a cold war between the village and his clan before he even knew something had been wrong all along. 

But he remembers his parents. Always stubborn and proud and unwavering, and then he had seen it as strength and now he knows it was foolishness. Knows they had walked right into a trap set long before Itachi was even old enough to walk, and he is angry.

If they had just once stopped to think, take their pride off of its seat on their shoulders, then it could have all been different.

But they didn't. And it is far too late now.

So he closes his eyes. Takes a moment to breathe, to extinguish the angry flame in his chest.

He has had enough of anger and hurt. Is tired of carrying it around in his chest, all knotted and gnarly. He is ready to lay it all out and finally,  _finally,_  start untangling it all. 

So he does.

His parents are silent as he spills his guts, his being. By the end no one's eyes are dry, but breathing is no longer an arduous task for Itachi, dismissing the hiccups still slipping from him of course. 

His father drags him forward, hand tight around Itachi's arm as if he's afraid to let go, and his mother's hand finds it way to the back of Itachi's head, guides him to rest upon her shoulder.

There are tears and quiet apologies and praise and really he had never imagined it going this way.

He is so overjoyed that he doesn't even realize the pull deep in his chest.

He's still got business to tend to.

He promised to protect Sasuke. So when he's pulled back into the living world he doesn't fight it. Simply takes a second to appreciate the brief moment of happiness he'd been allowed in the tragedy his life had become, then gets to work.


	5. Uchiha Itachi

  


  


  


  


  


  


  


  


  


  


  


  


  


  


Everything is quiet. His heart, his mind, his soul, his brother as Itachi leaves him yet again. He wishes he could share this feeling with him, the peace of letting go. He tells him he loves him always, then everything is quiet once more.

  


  


  


  


  


  


  


  


  


  


  


  


  


  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so yeah. short and angsty with too much prose type shit and not enough writing. that's how i live my life. Thanks for reading.


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